Regarding olive oil, I have heard the same as you, but I use extra virgin all the time. The only downside I see is it is more expensive.
The carbonara recipe I use is:
Spaghetti Carbonara
Ingredients
Serves 4 to 6
• 1/2 cup diced pancetta or bacon
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• Coarse salt
• 1 pound spaghetti
• 6 large egg yolks
• 1/4 pound Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, grated
Directions
Fill a large pot with water and bring to a boil over high heat.
In a large skillet over medium heat, slowly cook pancetta or bacon until the fat has been rendered and the pancetta or bacon is crisp. Add pepper and remove from heat.
Generously salt boiling water (it should be as salty as sea water) and return to a boil; add pasta. Cook pasta until al dente. Drain pasta, reserving 4 tablespoons of pasta water.
Add reserved pasta water to skillet. Place skillet over low heat, add egg yolks, and gently swirl pan to combine. Add pasta, pancetta or bacon and cheese; toss to coat. Serve immediately on warmed plates.
May add ¼ cup heavy cream with the egg yolks for added richness.
Unless you already have high cholesterol, don't worry.