100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do

[WannaGo]

Very interesting list from the New York Times.

I think some of them are a little nitpicky ("do not announce your name"), but mostly good suggestions for what waiters should and should not do in restaurants.

1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.

2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?†Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.

3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.

4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.

5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.

6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?†Both are fine. Remain neutral.

7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.

8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.

9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.

10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.

11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.†Even if there are only two lobsters left.

12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.

13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.

14. When you ask, “How’s everything?†or “How was the meal?†listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.

15. Never say “I don’t know†to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.â€

16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.

17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.

18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?â€

19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.

20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.

21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.

Part I

Part II

[lvdkeyes]

I love this list. A restaurant that adheres to it is one I would visit over and over again.

[CrazyExpat]

I love this list. A restaurant that adheres to it is one I would visit over and over again.

Me too!

[Beer Chang]

9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.

And make sure the price of the specials are announced.

Even better this is 2009; print them out.

[Thaimo]

This list most definitely goes to show that most Thai restaurants, including many that are farang owned, have a lot to learn.

[lvdkeyes]

I couldn't agree more. Some of the farang owners are the worst offenders.

[Beer Chang]

19. Offer guests olive oil with their bread.

I agree. Love olive oil.

But that's really the province of the owner not the waiter.

[lvdkeyes]

19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.

[WannaGo]

17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.

This is one of my pet peeves. I hate when the waiter acts as if he's trying to hurry you up so he can get in a few more tips before the night is done.

[Beer Chang]

17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.

This is one of my pet peeves. I hate when the waiter acts as if he's trying to hurry you up so he can get in a few more tips before the night is done.

I hate waiters asking to take my plate too. I might want to transfer food from another's plate to mine.

[Bob]

All in all, I like middle-of-the-road attention by the wait staff at a restaurant. I don't want them hovering over me as that's irritating as hell (and, for Christ's sake, you don't need to fill up the damn water glass every time it's down a 1/4" or so...hehe). On the other hand, I also get irritated when I need to send up flares to get anybody to pay attention to me.

If they're helpful but you don't notice they're there, they're perfect.

[lvdkeyes]

Good waiters stand away from the table so as not to hover, but close enough to see if anything is needed.

[Thaimo]

I think part of the problem in Thailand is lack of training for waiters. Even if they were to be trained, who would train them? In Thailand I expect consistently mediocre service at best and I am pleasantly surprised on the rare occasions when the service is better than mediocre. The only restaurants I have been to in Thailand at which the service could reasonably be called excellent are restaurants that are very expensive, much too expensive for me to go very often. As long as the food is good, I have learned to accept the service I get in Thailand. It is difficult for me to be critical when the waiters just don't know any better.

[Bob]

It is difficult for me to be critical when the waiters just don't know any better.

I completely understand and agree. Even in the upscale joints, bad waiters are just a sign of bad ownership/management. Can't blame them if the owner/manager never told them how to properly wait tables.

[lvdkeyes]

There are three restaurants in Pattaya where the service is close to what it should be. Alois, Mata Hari and Manhattans, none of which are cheap.

[Thaimo]

There are three restaurants in Pattaya where the service is close to what it should be. Alois, Mata Hari and Manhattans, none of which are cheap.

There is a fourth: Wi's

[Beer Chang]

Friendly, non-pushy service is what I want.

Don't need fancy.

[lvdkeyes]

I have not heard about Wi's. What kind of restaurant is it and where is it located?

[Thaimo]

I have not heard about Wi's. What kind of restaurant is it and where is it located?

It is the original location of Cherry's, before Cherry's moved to its current location. It's on Third Road, across the street from the X-zyte disco. The food is always presented beautifully, everyone is served simultaneously, the service is excellent, and the prices are reasonable. They do have a good Thai food menu too, although their web site doesn't show the items. Also, their web site doesn't show it, but every entree, Thai food too, includes a salad bar. They have a set menu that includes the salad bar, appetizer, soup (if you prefer a different soup from the set menu choice they will change it for you at no charge, even if your soup choice is more expensive than the choice on the set menu), choice of four main courses, dessert, and a glass of red or white wine for 495 baht.

http://www.wis-restaurant.com

[lvdkeyes]

This looks like a place I need to try.

[Thaimo]

This looks like a place I need to try.

Please post after you try Wi's. I am interested to know what you think of it. Also, I recently posted a question in the Recipe Exchange. So far nobody has responded. I am hoping you will have a response. I've tried all you have posted there and everything was great. Maybe you can offer some advice once again.

[lvdkeyes]

Hot dogs here are a disaster. An American snack shop owner told me that the hot dogs at SS Sausage on Naklua were good. He was wrong; they are crap to my taste. Villa sells Oscar Meyer, but I am not buying them at that price. Oscar Meyer are not my choice anyway. A friend is bringing me some Polish sausages from Costco. I love them.

For hamburger, don't buy the leanest one. Here are a few choices to give you tasty burgers, although not the usual. I also included a recipe for the best buns.

Greek Burger

Ingredients

• 2 pounds ground beef shaped into 6 burgers

• 3/4 pound Greek feta cheese cut into 6 slices (okay if it crumbles)

• 1 1/2 cups roasted red peppers thinly sliced

• 1 cup pitted Kalamata olives cut in half

• 3 ripe Roma tomatoes sliced

• Romaine thinly sliced

• 2 Tbsp olive oil for brushing buns

• 6 Brioche or good quality hamburger buns

• Kosher or Sea salt

• Freshly ground pepper

• 1 small cucumber peeled halved lengthwise and seeded

• 1 cup plain whole milk or 2% Greek yogurt

• 1/2 Tbs. honey

• 1/2 Tbs. fresh lemon juice

• 1 Tbs. fresh mint finely chopped

• 1 Tbs. fresh dill finely chopped

• 1 small garlic clove pressed through a garlic press

Cooking Instructions

To prepare Tzatziki sauce: Shred cucumber on the large hole of a box grater. Squeeze out excess liquid from cucumber. Mix in bowl with milk/yogurt, honey, lemon juice, mint, dill, and garlic, then season with salt & pepper. (Can be refrigerated for up to 2 days).

To prepare burgers: Prepare the grill to medium-hot heat & lightly oil grill.

Brush inside of buns with olive oil & grill cut side down on cooler side of grill until golden brown. Grill lamb burgers seasoning with salt & pepper & cook approximately 4 minutes per side for medium or 3 minutes per side for medium rare. Put romaine on bottom of bun cover with lamb burger and top with feta olives roasted red pepper tomatoes & Tzatziki Sauce.

Caesar Burger

Ingredients

• 2 pounds all natural ground chuck (80/20blend) shaped into 6 burgers

• 1 1/2 cups roasted red peppers thinly sliced

• 1 1/2 cups Parmesan shavings loosely packed (can also shredded Parmesan)

• 3 ripe Roma tomatoes sliced

• Romaine thinly sliced

• Roasted Garlic & Basil Aioli (recipe follows)

• 6 Brioche or good quality hamburger buns

• Kosher or Sea salt

• Freshly ground pepper

• 6 medium garlic cloves

• 3 Tbsp olive oil

• 2 Tbsp fresh basil finely sliced

• 1 tsp. Dijon mustard

• 1 Tbs. fresh lemon juice

• 1 cup mayonnaise

Cooking Instructions

To prepare aioli sauce: Heat olive oil in small sauté pan over medium-low heat. Add garlic & sauté until soft & brown. Remove garlic & reserve oil for brushing inside of burger buns. Roughly chop garlic & puree with flat side of knife. Put in mixing bowl with basil, Dijon, lemon juice, mayonnaise and season with salt & pepper. Refrigerate.

To prepare burgers: Heat the grill to medium-hot heat & lightly oil grill.

Place burgers on grill season with salt & pepper. Grill burgers to medium doneness (about 4 minutes per side for medium 3 minutes for medium rare).

Brush inside of buns with reserved garlic oil & grill cut side down on cooler side of grill until golden brown. Put romaine on bottom of bun top with burger Parmesan shavings tomatoes roasted red peppers & Roasted Garlic & Basil Aioli Sauce.

SPECIAL BURGERS

2 pounds Ground Beef

2 teaspoons Worcestershire Sauce

1/2 teaspoon Salt

1/4 teaspoon Garlic Salt

1/4 teaspoon Pepper

3 ounces Cream Cheese; Softened

2 tablespoons Blue Cheese; Crumbled

4 ounce can Mushroom pieces

Mix meat, Worcestershire sauce and seasonings. Shape the mixture into 12 thin patties, each about 4-inches in diameter. Mix the cream cheese and the blue cheese. Top each of 6 patties with the cheese mixture, spreading to within 1/2 inch of the edge; press the mushrooms into the cheese. Cover each patty with one of the remaining patties, sealing the edges firmly. Broil or grill the patties 4-inches from the heat, turning once, until the desired doneness is reached and cheese is melted, about 10 to 15 minutes.

Texas Two Step Burger

Ingredients

• 2 pounds ground beef (80/20blend), shaped into 6 burgers

• 6 slices Vermont cheddar

• 6 slices Monterey Jack cheese

• 2 cups Beef & Kidney Bean Chili

• 1 small red onion, thinly sliced

• Romaine, thinly sliced

• Cilantro-Lime Sour Cream Sauce (recipe follows)

• 6 Brioche or good quality hamburger buns

• Olive oil for brushing inside of buns

• Kosher or Sea salt

• Freshly ground pepper

• 1 1/3 cups sour cream

• 1 Tbs. fresh lime juice

• 1/2 Tbs. sugar

• 2 Tbs. fresh cilantro leaves, finely chopped

Cooking Instructions

To prepare Cilantro-Lime Sour Cream Sauce (prepare 1 or 2 days in advance): Mix sour cream, lime juice, sugar, and cilantro in bowl. Salt and pepper to taste. Refrigerate.

To prepare burgers: Heat the grill to medium-hot heat & lightly oil grill.

Warm chili in microwave or on stove. Place burgers on grill, season with salt & pepper. Turn burgers and top with both cheeses. Grill burgers to medium doneness (about 4 minutes per side for medium, 3 minutes for medium rare).

Brush inside of buns with olive oil & grill cut side down on cooler side of grill until golden brown. Put romaine on bottom of bun, top with cheeseburger, then chili, red onion & Cilantro-Lime Sour Cream Sauce. You may need a knife & fork & lots of napkins for this one!

Big Soft Hamburger Buns

9-12 servings

1/2 cup instant mashed potatoes

1 cup boiling water

2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast

1/4 cup warm water

1 cup small curd cottage cheese

1/4 cup sugar

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 egg, slightly beaten

1 teaspoon salt

4-4 1/2 cups flour

Stir together potatoes and boiling water; allow to cool at least 5-10 minutes; meanwhile, sprinkle yeast over warm water; let stand about 5 minutes until foamy.

Stir together potato mixture, yeast mixture, cottage cheese, sugar, oil, egg, and salt; gradually stir in flour on low speed until a soft dough comes together to form a smooth ball.

Knead 9-10 minutes on medium until dough is smooth, elastic, and no longer sticky; add more flour, one tablespoon at a time during the kneading process, if necessary to reduce stickiness.

Place dough into oiled bowl; cover bowl and place in a warm place; allow dough to rise (about 1 1/2 hours) until doubled.

Punch down dough and knead a few strokes to release air; divide dough into 9 (or 12 portions if you want to end up with not-quite-so-large buns) equal portions; with lightly oiled or floured hands, shape each dough portion into a ball, gently pulling and tucking top surface under until smooth.

Place formed buns 2 or more inches apart, tucked sides down, on a greased baking sheet; cover and allow buns to rise (about 30-45 minutes) until puffy.

Bake at 350° for 20-25 minutes, or until buns are light golden-brown; remove from oven and transfer to cooling rack.

NOTE: Makes nine 4 1/2 to 5-inch buns or twelve 3 1/2 to 4-inch buns which, once cooled, may be stored airtight in a plastic bag and refrigerated or frozen if desired. It will also make 2 - 8 X 4 inch loaves.

[WannaGo]

Wow...dude, you're amazing. It's been ages since I had a good burger...and all of those sound like heaven right now.

[lvdkeyes]

My pleasure! Let me know which ones you try and how you like them.

[Beer Chang]

I often crave a White Castle burger, so bad it's good.